i have been fretting for a long time about going to the dentist as you have to go every 6 months, and to my recollection the last time i went was in january and it is now September :| To my relief, my mum is convinced i paid the dentist a visit in April. Anyway i feel i need to pay the dentist a visit, urgently!

Over this weekend Mike has been saying i am pedantic. I believe this is true, and i like the word :) I have decided to use big words in conversations with new people to alienate them and make them think i am slightly clever that what i normally am, that is my plan.

I am listening to Bob Dylan for one of the last times in a long while.

Today we went to see Maz in a play. Me and Mike were really impressed with her acting skills, the cast and her were really good. But this lady kept forgetting lines. It was still good tho. After, we went to cafe bebo, it was nice, we had a heart-to-heart conversation which made me think that we are more alike then i first thought.

Mike is convinced i will not grow old alone, i belive him for the mean while ¬¬

On Thursday, Leadh, Mike and i are going to End Of The Road festival, yay :D

Today was nice, today was sad, i felt like bursting into tears every now and again but pulled myself together, becuase today was nice, i couldn't ruin it. Also had too much chocolate, and pulled too much faces. A whiney today in my history books. I have also gained alot of books to read. 'Kite Runner' which Gloria recommended me to read was good. Mike recommends me to read 'a Portrait of Dorian Gray' and Leadh gave me a book too. Will read.

A few days ago, Gloria got her GCSE results, she got 9 A's, 3 A*'s and 3 B's. She also got into King Edwards Grammar school in Hansworth, which is a really good school. I am proud of her, she deserves it, she worked really hard. I knew she'ld get in. She starts tomorrow :) Well done Gloria.

France was great then i went to Greenbelt festival from friday to tuesday. Loooooong weekend. i dislike camping a little now. There was no showers unless you wanted to pay £3.50 for 15minutes! so it was a long showerless weekend. Lots of stinky people, not too bad.

I bought shakers. Onwards and upwards, i say!

Foy Vance
Peggy Sue and the Pirates
Foreign Slippers

 i should really start packing, we're leaving in 10hrs. :/

Not all of them, just one every now and again. But they are only a forcast of the location i am going to. My dad said that his cousin could also had a similar ability. Its not great, as it doesn't tell you anything, just how the buildings will look. Next time i will try and remember my dream, and write it down, so that when it happens i can be like [to person who doesn't believe in my powers] "SEe, see! Told you so!" Right now, i am just a joke :/

 DOne it!
:)

Today, i was absolutely nervous, but i managed to pull through it all. Our band managed to get in the most money. Thing is we managed to sell £120 worth of tickets, but from all that we got only £26 to split between 5 people. I got the extra £1 because i am the poorest and the lead and made the songs, i think that they only said that becuase they couldn't decide who should get it :) its nice though i'll spend it on a hot cup of starcubucks signitaure hot choclae. Maz was brilliant tonight, it was her first time to Dv8 and she seemed to like it alot, me, mike  and maz went to the chip shop afterwards were we contemplate alot of things in a very drunk manner. Mike wasn't drunk, he's never drunk. He must have thought we were stupid.

On Sunday i am going to France for nearly a week. On the 3rd Sept, we most liely have a gig in Malvern a pub called 'The Lamb' so that Theo and Maz's friends can all come, i've never been Malvern, so i'm excited. elliot might come, he lives in Worcester which is nearly enough nearby.

infields Is our myspace.

I've never been to France, it should be good. I haven't packed yet :/

 I had planned out what i was going to write but i've totally forgot it. I have a limited memory my mum always says. But as i have started this i may as well keep on going. Today i did nothing, nothing much. The only day i went out this week was Monday and Sunday. I found out that Sunday is the start of a new week. Who knew! I wonder what else, in my 19 years of life hasn't been mentioned to me. I watched and sometimes helped Faith sort out her professional CV, she wants to get work experience in the summer holidays in the property industry. I am happy to say i helped in the chronicalogical arranging of the education part. 

We have a gig on August 13th. Elliot can't make it as he is going to Australia on that day, (people will go to any excuse) but its true, so we've replaced him with Tom. The tickets are officially printed, and our name 'In Fields' is printed (in tiny) on there!!

Me and Leadh plan to make Tote bags in the near future. Leadh received a sowing machine for her birthday! In my case - i will be hand sowing, i... :/ don't own a sowing machine.

I did watch 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince' on the day it came out, in the IMAX, first showing of the day. My 3D glasses were too big for me so i swapped them with Elliot's glasses, but Elliot's glasses were broken, he had broken them. I made sure to make a quick swap at the end so that he would have the blame if any blame was going to be placed.

I have this urge to make stuff.

A quick summary of my summer dose far. Sweet, summery, rainy at times, fun but depressing.

 Me and Gloria made a rocky road, then chocolate cornflake cakes. We bought 2 250g bars of cadburys chocolate which we used 325g on the rocky road and the rest on the cornflake cakes. We managed 5, of which i got 2 :) but that was only because i said i would be the one who went  to the local shop to get electricity as my mum said we were running low on it. Which i never did hehehehe :D

WE played on the wii fit, Gloria, Faith and i, just to show Faith what games we have and how to play them. We got stuck on this bubble game were we all got our competitive sides on. First it was who could get past a certain point, then it was 1000+ points but then it started getting serious, it was who could finish the game, get to the end. We placed a deal on that one. I ended up winning so one of Faith or Gloria has to make me tea when i want it, and how i like it.

I feel slightly sick from the load of chocolate we had today. I sneaked a small tub of ben and jerry's into the shopping trolley this morning when we went to Asda, which i had in the morning for breakfast.

You know that deflated feeling, your like oh no what now. I tend to listen to my ipod for a while to zone out, with some songs i pretend i'm on stage, playing to a moderate sized crowd and their all cheering and like ''yeahhh, your the best Grace'' and ''whooo your amazing'' ( and "love you"). I am excited for the next couple of weeks! Its not about what i am doing, its about what i'm going to do about it.

AND i have a plan. 

 We have two trees outside our doorstep. I bought a dress online a week ago and i was wondering why i hadn't received it yet, so on Tuesday when i stepped outside the house for the first time in 48 hours i spotted a grey package in one of the trees. The post person must have given up on the trek to our doorstep and dumped it there. I was not impressed, especially as their is only a couple of steps that are stand in between the tree and the letterbox/doorbell.

1. write what i plan to do in the summer
2. Call Claudine about the bike issue (haven't done that yet)
3. write about my day
4. do something that makes my heart jump at least once a week
5. random exercise (taking the stairs instead of the lift)
6. Listen to a song i don't know on Faith's ipod
7. Watch documentary's (seen one: Jackie Kennedy)
8. And list what i've learned from their life about life (haven't done that yet, but i will note: she was unlucky, life is unlucky)
9. Draw something everyday (which has turned into 3 drawings per every other day)
10. Ignore people i don't like, no smile, no eye contact, no usual nice behaviour 
11. Try and say hi and engage in a conversation, or hold a 2 second smile to people i do like (haven't done that yet)
12. Examine the features of old people on the bus
13. Draw these observations of old people on the bus
14. Draw in a different medium or different materials
15. Learn a new language (French most likely especially as we're going to France) (haven't done that yet)
16. gardening (haven't done that yet) [ hayfever ]
17. Walk all day 
18. Walk to town and back
19. Jump on a random train and get off at a random stop and spend my day exploring that place (haven't done that yet)
20. Write a secret note, and hide it in my room
21. Clean my room
22. Throw away nearly everything i own (haven't done that yet)
23. Give most of my clothes away to charity or the bin 
24. Give up something i love for a week (haven't done that yet)
25. Buy a band t-shirt on the night of the gig (haven't done that yet)
26. Make something that will be of use
27. Start conversations 
28. Finish something that i had started ages ago but didn't finish (haven't done yet)
29. Do a kind deed for someone without them realising - done that today :D, won't say because that would be telling...
30. Go to church (haven't done that yet)
31. Knit socks (haven't done that yet)
32. Amend broken things that are not mine but i broke (haven't done yet)
33. Buy a book
34. Read the book (haven't done that yet)
35. Stop and listen to the sounds outside my room
36. Record our music
37. Make a film (haven't done that yet)
38. Draw a story you made up (haven't done that yet)
39. Take an interest in politics - i.e read The Guardian 




My list is expanding. My list isn't even real, its just weird stuff i do daily. 

 I'm not yet bored, but i'm near enough.

On June 17th me and Faith went to Olive's to pick up birthday cards and presents. While we were in her house and there was a silence i took it as my opportunity to present Olive with the idea of Faith and i walking the dogs again. Everyone was shocked at my proposal, even i was shocked, but Faith was especially shocked and annoyed because i hadn't discussed it with her earlier and she seems to dislike walking the dogs. When we got home we exchanged a few words. 

On Saturday 10am in the morning,we walked the dogs for the first time in ages. The whole process of walking the dogs (Oscar and Bramble) takes 2 hours. Walking to Olive's house, walking around the park (its a big park) and back to Olive's house, and then walking home. I forgot how tiring it is, but she paid us for our time.

We walked the dogs again this morning, it wasn't so tiring but i was glad to be home. 

Mike and Mike's cousin Emma asked me if i wanted to buy tickets to see Harry Potter in 3D. I said no. I'm regretting it now. I have the money to go but i want to start saving my money and getting myself out of debt with people (Faith). I figured i could always see it in normal cinemas for half the price. 

We are going to France in August, and my mum gave Faith and Gloria money to spend when we go to France but she didn't give me any money. I asked her why and she hesitated to answer for a long awkward minute or so. She said she's knows that if she were to give me the money now i'ld end up spending it and that she'll give it to me a week before departing but then Faith goes 'no, don't do that... a week is a long time for her to 'fall' into topshop' (she said something like that anyway, also i don't shop in Topshop, except for socks and the odd one or two dresses) then my mum says ok i'll give you the money a day before [ Faith starts talking again] Then mum says ok when we're in the airport, Faith says 'There are shops in the airport!' so now my mum is giving me the money when we are actually over there :/ 

I've just been wasting my time glued to this laptop and sofa, browsing through blogs and interesting sites.

kerismith's 100 interesting ideas might unglue me to this laptop and sofa. i like no.70 in particular.

I can't believe Michael Jackson is dead. I forgot he was human, he seemed like he would live forever. I always thought he was immortal in away, that i would die first before him.
My mum was talking about life after death, and near death experiences, other worlds and stuff. She said that we lost Michael Jackson in this world, but now another world has gained so much more.

Even though she said this, i don't think she cares as much, she heard the news and she was over it as soon as, me and Faith have been watching all the videos, DVDs and listening to all the CD's we have. Faith used to absolutely love Michael Jackson, she was obsessed with him. One year i got a Michael Jackson's number 1's album for her birthday, she liked the thought but as she had so many cd and stuff she had already had nearly every song on that album i was gutted but she said she liked the thought. Things changed when she went to uni, she must have found the 'new sound' or just forgotten about him.

Right now she is reading his biography over again. On Friday she searched all over the house for her Michael Jackson stuff. She found this magazine which was limited edition and had a feature on Michael Jackson which she bought a few years back on Ebay for £20! She's silly.

She used to try and dance like him. She kept asking me 'Am i dancing like him? AM I?' i said yes just so she'ld stop asking me.

My favourite Michael Jackson song is 'Remember the Time', it reminds me of teenage mutant ninja turtles, spice girls, power rangers, eddie murphy, my egyptian phase, and being in London. And actually so much more than that. Michael Jackson reminds me of my childhood, he was on my 'i would like to be friends with/marry list', Jesus, and Will Smith, were also on this list.

I want all the channels to be filled with Michael Jackson programmes for ever. They should make a Michael Jackson channel! Mark my words, there will most definitely be a michael jackson film coming out soon. I can see the future so clearly... I hope no one forgets how much he has done, how he contributed to the music scene. Really, i hope no one forgets him at all.

 THEE ROOM IS SPOTLESS. 

I can breathe now. I am getting rid of as much stuff as i can.

I feel really bad today :( the kind that is heart aching bad. I will clean my room up a bit more, that will take my mind off it.

It weird how as soon as someone is using the bathroom (i.e - shower) you suddenly are bursting for the toilet. Its not just me! Gloria does this, the moment i get home she suddenly decides to use the toilet even though she's had probably an hour to consider this thought. Know what i mean?!

I watched Science of Sleep today! Its brilliant! I love it!

Motion Silence.

Ok i actually started this blog ages ago, but only managed two entries 'welcome' and 'intro'. I've decided to dedicate more time to it, now that i am soon to be a new and upcoming illustrator, and all the cool illustrators have a blog. I plan to be one of them, or atleast squeeze myself into that title. Which means i won't have to stick inspirations and stuff in this journal, i will carry on writing in this journal. I can't stop! I like writing way too much.

My mum gave me a load of money today and asked me to stop asking her for money :| 

I'm excited for Thursday, on Thursday i am going to do absolutely nothing, in terms of: nothing that has been preplanned. hehe Thursday is 'Anything could happen Thursday'. I am waiting for this day as everyday is exhausting, there is always a load of walking, talking and buying. Exhausting!

My blog will be called 'Motion Silence'. No particular reason, except for one of the first logical things that came to me. I was going to read myself to sleep tonight but then i decided to go on paint for some random reason, this is what i have produced.

 I woke up at 12am today. I usually wake up at 9am. I try and go to sleep at 9pm but that usually is 10.45pm atleast.  just know that when it hits 9, i should start getting ready to go to sleep. I didn't manage to do any cleaning of my room as of yet. I haven't done anything.

 my mum banned me off the internet because my room isn't clean. But i've managed to find a way to sneak on, which involves Faith's laptop and bundling all the wires into my room, plus she's on a night shift at work so she has no way of finding out. My room still isn't cleaning which i intend to attend to this morning.

I was thinking of starting up a blog, just inspirations, and the work i do, see if i can shake up the world wide web with what i have to say. Also a blog looks like something fun to preoccupy my time. Its quite hard maintaining a blog, i tried it before and i realised i had nothing new to offer or in fact nothing to say. I think this holiday, i may be on the internet a lot seeing as days get boring quite easily and quickly. Once your bored, there's no going back. 

On Tuesday we ended up turning up at the open mic night at the yardbird. We had actually planned NOT to do it. I don't know what happened there. Instead of Tom being our bassist, Elliot is. Elliot is a different Elliot i know. He's E.K. and he's loads of fun to be around. He reminds me of me. This time round in front of playing infront of a live audience was different, because Mike and Elliot were on stage with Maz and I. In FIelds. I was proper nervous. My lips were trembling while i was singing, my legs were trembling, my plectrum kept slipping out of my hand.
4 people came up to me at the end and said that 'i have a wicked voice' and stuff like that. Proper confidence boost, but also that i should loose the nerves. Not as easy as it sounds luv.

Swine Flu is actually a serious thing now. I don't know why i am not taking it seriously. It seems like a fun contagious disease, the one's you can boast about and be part of the 'elite' few who gets it. I guess its because no one i know (touch wood) has got it, or no one i know (touch wood) has died from it. It doesn't seem like a threat. I think, I, of all people should start taking it seriously as i have hayfever that doesn't seem to be going away, which puts me in the firing line. I guess i don't help this cold by wearing shorts, and barely anything, Its summer! Thats what people do! I look like an idiot when i wear my coat, scarf, and 3 layers to town, it doesn't help when the heating system in our house comes on automatically. One minute its freezing cold, and you have your whole wardrobe on, then the next its boiling and you have to take that pile off. Its a chore. I'ld rather be cold than hot.

A few hours ago Gloria won a Harry Potter competition, she's really pleased, speechless and doesn't know who to take. I said 'you don't have to take me... choose one of your friends' ¬¬ she said 'ok!' And took her happiness upstairs to share with 'one of her friends'. 

:(

Harry Potter is out soon :D We are watching it at the IMAX on the day it comes out! serious business. I guess i have a bit of time now, i am going to start reading the books again starting from number 3. soonish. I might do :/ actually i'm lazy, i won't do. Might skim the last pages of the 5th book just to refresh my memory.

OH WAIT! i've just remembered which book, book number 6 is. Its the Half Blood Prince. And that one is my favourite! i'm excited :D

 

I haven't done yoga not even once since we got the new DVD player, AND there was no excuses.  

Yesterday, I was eating pistachio nuts normally as you do, with the braking, opening, then throwing into your mouth routine, when i split the nail on my thumb! so i kept going and then the split in the middle of the nail on my thumb got deeper so i decided to rip the whole of one half of it off. I thought, 'yes this is going to hurt, but only for a little while and once its all over i just maybe able to get back to eating pistachio nuts'. This process hurt loads, and also i was not able to go back to my eating habits. JUST this alone has proven to me how lazy and inpatient i am, i am able to inflict pain on myself rather than wait till i can find a nail cutter thing :/ the easy way :/

This has taught me a valuable life lesson - wait, just wait.

Today was great. We managed to get a new version of mice song going, which (without Maz and Mike knowing i was throwing in noise punk rock guitar riffs and bits all over the place, Maz occassionally told me to turn down my guitar) sounded more upbeat than the previous acoustic demos we have done as we were all amp'd up and it was electric, plus Mike used his real drums instead of his electric drums. I can not play bass well. We were doing a little improv part after lunch and Maz was good, Mike was good, i was baddd, i couldn't get one tune going, so Maz taught me a thing or two and told me to work on it, i'll get better with time. Hopefully i have enough time to get better. We plan to go open mic night on tuesday, we are going to record stuff on thursday so we can get some proper demos out so that on friday me and mike are going to find us some gigs and start calling around about venues and stuff, handing out these demos.

I have also come to learn that i do alot of stupid things.

my birthday is offically next week and we are all unoffically poor except for leadh ( she has a full time job) so i have no clue what is happening.

 Yesterday there was a strike going on in the London underground. I'm all for strikes, especially on big scales like this 8O but not when i have an interview and want to get from one end of the country to the other.
 
 We have a DVD player for the tv so i can do yoga now, no excuses :(